Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
