Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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