So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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