He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
