I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
