no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
