also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
