He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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