tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
