She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
