Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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