no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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