AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
