Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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