You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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