I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
