ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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