I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
