omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
