Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
