You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
