I look better un-naked...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
