Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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