I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
