I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
sick fucks of a feather flock together
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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