So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
