o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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