dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
