All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
