She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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