just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
