I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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