I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
