The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
