I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
