Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
