I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
