I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Houston, we have a blender
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
