I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
