That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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