I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
