Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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