redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
