Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
