You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
