Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
