all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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