Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
