it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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