So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm having to shit out rocks
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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