Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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