Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
